The Apple Tree

It is said that the idea of gravitation came to Newton as he sat in a contemplative mood in a garden and saw an apple falling down from the tree. I think that's bullshit. I think he asked the apple tree why the apple descended perpendicularly to the ground. And then the apple tree gave him the knowledge of Universal Gravitation. 

Even I had certain questions about this world. So, I went to an apple tree to ask the questions. Here's how the conversation went :

Me : Hello, I'd like to ask you a few questions. 

Apple Tree : -_-

(I don't know why it was being indifferent. As far as I know, they are quite responsive and so, I asked my questions anyway)

Me : Slayer says God hates us all, and the Westboro Baptist Church says God hates fags. Does that mean we are all fags?

Apple Tree : -_-

Me : When we are having a dream, are the events taking place in our dream a reality in another dimension?

Apple Tree : -_-

Me : Which breed of cat did Schrödinger have?

Apple Tree : -_-

Me : Is banana straight or gay?

Apple Tree : -_-

Me : Oh, wait. You guys are asexual. Sorry about that.

(I felt a little awkward)

I had realized at this point of time that my above theory was wrong. Apple Trees are indifferent. Then, an apple fell down. I picked it up, took a bite and walked away. At least I got something that will keep the doctor away.

Thank you for wasting your time.