Plant

There was a Plant. His name was Robert. He was a pothead plant(potted, pothead...get it? no? it is okay). Because he used to smoke a lot of pot. Smoking pot is apparently bad for you. Poking Smot is apparently good for you (pokingsmot.net ... pretty good site. Don't check it out a lot, but a friend says it's good). Okay, now let's get back to the story of Robert the Plant.

Robert was a good Plant. He used to consume carbon dioxide in the day and emit oxygen and do the reverse at night. A good photosynthesizer, the organisms called him. But he used to smoke a lot of pot. His mother, Annie wasn't happy with his habit.

One day, he went to an airfield. There, he saw a zeppelin. He got into the zeppelin and asked the pilot where was the zeppelin going. The pilot said that the zeppelin was on its way to heaven. Robert asked if he could come along. The pilot agreed. Then, they went to heaven. The landed at an airfield that was really close to heaven. Apparently, you couldn't land directly in heaven. Security reasons, I guess. Anyway, they got out of the zeppelin and walked a little and saw a huge sign. It said 'Stairway to Heaven'. At the bottom of the stairway, there was a lady. That lady was sure that all that glitters is gold. I don't know why that's relevant but I just felt like giving some general information. Now, this lady owned the stairway.

 (insert guitar solo)

Because she owned the stairway, she took money for anyone who wanted to use the stairway. That was her business. So, Robert the Plant paid the lady and went on the stairway to heaven. The pilot didn't come. He didn't have any money. As Robert finished climbing the stairway, he saw a huge door. He knocked on the door, but nobody opened. He knocked again, and a huge man with a long white beard opened the door.

"Hello, I am God. And you must be Robert.", the man with the long white beard said.
"How do you know my name?", Robert asked.
"Because I am God. I am omniscient", said God.
"Fair enough", Robert said.
"I can see that you have come here for a reason", God said.
"Not really, I was pretty bored. Plants don't have a lot to do other than photosynthesis.", replied Robert.
"Oh. Okay. Anyway, I am giving you a task. As you must have heard, the cereals are creating a lot of nuisance in the Plant Kingdom. I want you to get rid of them."
"That sounds like fun. I can do that for you. Do they have any weaknesses?", asked Robert.
"Marijuana", replied God.
"That's my strength! I can get rid of them easily", said Robert.
"Good. My blessings are with you, my child", said God.

And that is how, Robert the Plant became Robert the Plant, Cereal Killer.

And then Robert stopped hallucinating.

Thank you for wasting your time.